Thank God for long arms

If God didn't want us to masturbate wouldn't our arms be really short? Not only was this guy a little stressed out, but he is extinct. Makes you think, over and over, a lot, and again, more than usual, one more time, just like that, that, that, ....aaarrrgggghhhhh! Like I said, longer arms are a good thing.

What the ....

What is the international symbol for stay the hell out of my workshop? Maybe a little decapitated stick man with a 2X4 stuck in its a.. Evidently nobody on the planet earth can read (we do have a sign). Don't get me wrong, there is a select group of insiders that have earned the privilege of hanging in the shop. Alright, they have paid the price of admission; beer (or in some cases cheap whiskey). In my other life, you actually get shot for attempting to enter the "shop". No strange looks, no clearing of the throat, no excuse me, just carefully aimed bullets. Do people follow the doctor into the operating room? Do you saunter into the kitchen at Chili's? Do you follow the firemen into the fire? D is thinking maybe a half door between the show room and the shop. Not bad. I would rather get a tiger for a shop pet. How about some of those one-way spike things like the car rental places have. Sharpen those spikes, coat with poison and the problem will be solved. Is any one confused by the above sign.

Wind~~~~~~

So, does the wind blow or suck. This poses a very serious question.

Sam from Chucks

Do you want to be a member? Only a true member would ask a question like that. Koresh, Sun yung Moon, Ted Kennedy, those morons in the black suits, you know who the members are. Why would someone from the galaxy's largest mistake ask that question, because he too is a member. Members are everywhere. The guy that cut me off in traffic, the owner of the dog that barks all night, that Robertson guy, all members. People who park in bike lanes, whoever forgot to time all the traffic lights, sticks on gas powered scooters, members. Whiny ass new country western singers, boy bands, actors talking politics, members. That guy shaking his member in the back of the shop, non-member. People that complain/protest without offering solutions, members. People who say like all the time, slum-lords, those that call everything art, members. The inventor of pop-ups, bumper sticker philosophers, people that only turn left, members. Are you a member? If not, maybe Sam from Chucks will come by and ask if you want to become one.

The customer is always underpaid, overeducated, and just plain wrong.

D is unhappy ;~( In case y'all don't know D and the spaz are master thingie sales units. Recently we had a hominid purchase said thingie from another thingie store. This is not, on its face, an issue. However, said hominid, had infiltrated the inner sanctum impersonating a groovy unit. We all were slightly bamboozled by the anthropoids pseudo phrenic conjurations. I believe that the biped up and secreted on its nadir. Not only were D's feelings damaged, but he/she's sence of self has been inexorably subjugated. Now the sanctum infiltrator will be forever religated to the threshold to contemplate the cool kids.